


Almost got out alive

by Marayanna



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Crew as Family, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Team as Family, Tragedy, so I saw a trivia that Travis made Magnus rash because he wanted to kill him off and play the rogue, what if THB died during their missions for the Bureau?, which is funny but it got me thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25510750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marayanna/pseuds/Marayanna
Summary: There are rules they all accept as natural and expect the world to follow. The blade will swing right by their throat, but itwillmiss. The spell will hit them and take its toll, but theywillshake it off. The foolish plan will sound outrageous and impossible butit will turn out finebecause that's how their liveswork.If asked, they would never be able to tell just where did they get a notion that stupid. But nobody ever asks, and so they never question it, comfortable in the knowledge that they're completely and utterly invincible.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Almost got out alive

**Author's Note:**

> [Racoon - Almost Made It](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Paz6iZTw_0)

_  
  
  
  
The saddest word_

_in the whole wide world_

_is the world almost._

_He was almost in love._

_She was almost good for him._

_He almost stopped her._

_She almost waited._

_He almost lived._

_They almost made it._

_-Nikita Gill_

They're _so sure_ their death won't catch up to them if they'll run fast enough.

With the kind of lives they lead, filled with secret missions and weapons of mass destruction, with life or death situations and _so many close calls,_ risking their lives becomes both natural and weirdly dispassionate. There are rules they all accept as natural and expect the world to follow. The blade will swing right by their throat, but it _will_ miss. The spell will hit them and take its toll, but they _will_ shake it off. The foolish plan will sound outrageous and impossible but it _will_ turn out fine because that's how their lives _work._

If asked, they would never be able to tell just where did they get a notion that stupid. But nobody ever asks, and so they never question it, comfortable in the knowledge that they're completely and utterly invincible.

The Rockport Limited speeds through the mountains and Taako has an idea – not a good idea, not a _safe_ idea, but when did it ever stop them before? It will be fine - the universe knows the rules, after all. So Magnus ties a rope and then opens the window and then jumps-

Maybe the exhilaration he feels in that moment is worth the absolute terror that fills him when he misses his target and falls.

The train rushes into the tunnel and Magnus stays behind, forever stays behind. Merle and Taako will find him later and they won't be able to understand – how could that happen? Death seemed like such an abstract concept so far, like it couldn't touch them without their consent, and yet it grabbed Magnus and, perplexingly, impossibly, didn't let him go.

If asked, they would never remember why, but they were right. Death couldn't catch up to them - as long as the Birds kept running.

But they _stopped._

_._

Taako stumbles through the streets of Faerun, alone and angry and more distraught than he knows how to deal with. More distraught than Magnus _deserves_ , is what he keeps repeating to himself, because how long did they know each other, really? Hardly long enough to justify _this,_ puffy eyes and reeling mind and chest so tight it feels it's going to crush him. His hands are shaking and there's bile on the back of his throat and he keeps expecting to see Magnus around every corner and _he doesn't understand why he's not there._

He's seen death before. He's _caused_ death before. There's no reason for this one to hit differently, there's _not._

And yet here he is, stumbling through the streets and desperate for some privacy, for a quiet place where he could gather his thoughts and calm his mind. To think about what is more wrong, the universe for letting Magnus die or Taako for grieving like he never grieved before.

And then it's the middle of the night and he's somewhere completely secluded with no idea how he got there. And then there are men all around him, vile men, greedy men. And Taako- Taako could deescalate the situation if only fresh grief wasn't still choking him. He could fight and defend himself and even does for a little bit, but his hands are shaking _and Magnus' hands were always steady even before they were woodworker's hands and_ _ **how does he know that?**_

The knife that slips into his back is silent and quick and so very mundane.

Taako lets out a tiny sound, barely a gasp, and then he folds down and slides to the ground. He closes his eyes, still wet with tears he tried to swallow down all day, and he doesn't open them back again.

The thieves get what they want, and it's laughably little compared to the weight of the act they've just committed. And later, when they return to the rest of their group, they will say the strangest thing.

They will say that, as the man was bleeding out, it sounded like his umbrella was screaming.

.

Lucretia takes the news hard, harder than any of them expected. Killian, Carey and others are heartbroken, Merle is almost inconsolable, but Lucretia...

Lucretia very nearly crumbles, then. She very nearly puts a stop to the whole operation. She spends days murmuring to herself about ships, about loops, about _having to go._ And Merle doesn't understand, _can't_ understand but if there is one thing he can be certain of, it's this: the Lucretia he knows doesn't just give up. The Lucretia he knows fights to the very end for the things she believes in. She gets the job done, and their job _isn't done yet._

Merle holds her hand as he tells her all of this, and by the time he's done her eyes are dry again, and her mouth is set.

She sends him to the Lucas' lab the very next day, and that's where his god betrays him.

His arm becoming a crystal doesn't _hurt_ exactly (and on a scale of weird sensations is scores somewhere between being a mist and being petrified _and how does he know that_ ) and then it's not just his arm that is a crystal but also his torso and then his face and then he is eye to eye with the emissary of death.

Fifty seven seems like such an awful, impossible number of times to die. It seems like such an awful, impossible amount of times to _return._ What could possibly be a reason good enough to choose to live like this? It doesn't sound pleasant. It doesn't sound _reasonable._

There must be something wrong with these records and he tries to explain, tries to talk things through, but what can he do with his body covered in crystal and his soul in the power of Death? Merle isn't good at arguing. He much prefers to keep the peace.

Poor Lucretia, he thinks, as he finally allows the Reaper to lead him away. Once again one of her people is not coming back. She's going to be okay, though, he's certain of that. She's _the_ Madame Director, their tough, fearless leader after all. She has people relying on her and a mission to accomplish. And sometimes being a leader means making a hard call and then dealing with its consequences – someone has taught him that, he remembers, in the past.

But she'll move on. Carey and Killian will support her every step of the way, the way only friends-turned-family can support each other. Whatever else, Lucretia won't be alone.

He'd really hate for her to be alone.

.

Her plan works, in the end, and it's both astonishing and absolutely heartbreaking.

Because she could still leave this world if it didn't. She could take the ship and fly away, she could start from the beginning and try to forget everything that happened this cycle. But the plan _works,_ miraculously, infuriatingly and what right does she have to sacrifice the whole planet just for- just so she could-

Just because she wants her friends back?

She rewrote the past and challenged the rules of the universe just to get rid of the frown on Lup's face, just to get Magnus to smile like he smiled before. And now the new, peaceful world she built just for them is here but they are _not_ _._

There are some she didn't lose, though. With shaking hands she gives Davenport the vial with Fisher's ichor. With a shaking voice she calls Barry's stone of farspeech.

Are they still a family, she wonders, or are they strangers once bound by love so strongly it finally snapped and left them only with memories now tainted by grief, with bleeding wounds in places where they were once connected.

The answer is, of course, that they can grieve and bleed and still be a family. Isn't that exactly what they've been doing for hundreds of years already?

Davenport and Barry look at Lucretia and their eyes are dark and heavy, and their lips are pursed and grim, but they accept there's simply nothing that can be done anymore. The world is saved and the price is paid, four vibrant, brilliant lives in exchange for the entire planet. Some would say it was a good deal. Some would say they got off easy.

The worst part, Davenport will say later, is that he didn't even care that they died, back when the static still filled his mind. That the news was just another useless information, barely noticed and easily discarded, like everything else in his entire life at that time. The worst part is that he didn't get the chance to mourn for them at their own funerals.

The worst part, Barry will say later, is that he was always so close, so very close, hiding and following just one step behind. They didn't know just how strong and capable they were, so it was up to Barry to aid them, to protect them. He saved them hundreds of times but all it took was getting too absorbed in his search for Lup or too busy being alive and clueless, to one day catch up with Magnus and then Taako and then Merle, and find only bodies, empty and cold. The worst part is that he _could_ save them but he _didn't._

The worst part, Lucretia will say later, is that no one will ever know. Her journals are gone now and even if she wrote everything down again, who would believe her? Who would believe that people who faced down countless apocalypses, godlike judges and poisonous planets, were felled down so easily, so unremarkably? Not even knowing how brilliant they were, how brave they could be, with how much love they were surrounded for a hundred years? The worst part is that they died not knowing who's going to miss them.

Or maybe, they all think but nobody says aloud, the actual worst part is that the three of them have to keep living regardless. That they look into the future and all they can see is a barren land of long, empty years, without Lup's toothy smiles or Taako's petty complaining, without Magnus' misguided pranks and Merle's awful gifts. No miraculous rebirths for any of them, no second chances. Not ever again. The future is safe and bright and full of possibilities, and – for them – forever _empty._

It shouldn't be possible to live with four parts of your soul missing, but then again, they've done so many impossible things. They will keep going forward, keep trying to live as a family of three, because what other choice do they have? They can't disgrace their friends' memory by just giving up and wallowing in misery.

Lucretia stays in the Bureau and keeps helping people, and soon is hailed the hero, the protector, the keeper. And it's only the three of them that know it's her self-inflicted penance, a way to save as many lives as she can in exchange for all the people she sent to their deaths for the so-called greater good. Davenport goes to the seas and stays there for months at a time, alone and detached, and he calls it traveling but the three of them know that it's simply him running away. The sea is calm and patient and endless, and the perfect place to drown one's past without ever having to face it. And _Barry_ , Barry never stops looking for Lup, never gives up, even though the three of them have no hope that she can ever be returned to them. But looking for her is the only purpose Barry has left and so he'll keep doing it until his soul burns out and unravels, until the memory of the love of his life won't be able to anchor him in this world any longer.

They can't disgrace their friends' memory by giving up and wallowing in misery, but then again, they were always good at finding loopholes.

Because their life has turned into a waiting game and death is running, running, catching up, and the remaining three Birds are not moving anymore. One day it will grab them by their throats, first Lucretia, then Davenport, then Barry, and just like that their story will be gone, completely and irreversibly. Their story, which they still can't decide if it's a tragedy or comedy or a cautionary tale.

Because it goes like this:

Long, long time ago, there were seven birds and then the world ended but that was only the beginning. Later, there came sorrows and joys, there came love and betrayals and laughter and tears. Amazing things happened and terrible things happened and our heroes endured it all, as all heroes should. They went through all of their adventures together, arm in arm, none of them better or more worthy than others. And then came the final act, the last hardship to overcome in their frantic race to the finish line, and for some reason, some mysterious, unexplainable reason, four of them _stumbled._

No need to worry though, because the story still got a happy ending. A hard won, earned, _deserved_ happy ending. The world was saved and there were three of our heroes who made it.

And there were four of them who _almost_ did.


End file.
